25/06/2017

The Sunday Post #1 | Social Media Blackouts & Afternoon Tea

Towards the latter half of this week I took an unplanned break from the internet, which I'll go into the details of why a little later.  I've had a bit of an urge to write this weekend, but I wanted to write in more of a chatty fashion.  My mind has been feeling like a bit of a jumbled mess recently, especially this past week, and I've not been feeling up to putting in the usual effort I do when I write a post.

Sometimes it's just nice to chat, you know?

I'm not sure if I'm going to make this an every week kind of thing.  To be honest I'm having a rough time at the moment, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be posting all that regularly full stop.  I fall into the trap time and time again of setting myself this strict schedule, then end up burning myself out, not allowing myself any time to just live my life, especially now I'm running my little Etsy shop as well and still on the look out for a new job.

I've also really been missing writing in a more relaxed way.  The kind of posts where not much thought has to go into it.  I just type and see what happens.

So hi!  I hope you've all had a lovely week and an even lovelier weekend.  Here's what I've been up to...


I've been taking a break away from the internet again recently.  At the moment I seem to only be able to deal with it in short spells.  I mean, is it just me or is there a tonne of negativity on Twitter at the moment?!  I just cannot be bothered with it.

I'm having a bad time with losing my Mum at the minute.  Right now I'm feeling a whole load of responsibility for her loss.  I guess it's a normal feeling.  I think we all have those feelings of "What if...", and we make ourselves believe that had we done more they may still be here.  So I'm trying to deal with these kinds of feelings at the moment.

I've also recently learnt that I'm suffering from PTSD.  It wasn't something that had even crossed my mind, and I haven't really talked about until this weekend because I thought I was being ridiculous.

Basically, every time an ambulance has gone passed me whilst we're in the car with it's sirens on, I flashback to that weekend.  The flashbacks are so vivid that I feel like I'm reliving the entire thing all over again.  I feel everything I felt in those moments as if it's for the first time over and over again.  Imagine being back in the moment you've been told your Mum is going to die over and over again.  Imagine feeling that pain again and again and again.

I never told anybody though, because I just thought it was all part of the grieving process.  I assumed that it's something that's just always going to be there, and that I just need to accept that these flashbacks would likely always be a part of my life now.

Having an exceptionally bad day yesterday after sirens triggered those flashbacks once more, I decided to speak out, and straight away I was told that I'm suffering from PTSD.  I decided to look it up, and as I read the symptoms tears started streaming down my face.  I read through the symptoms and everything was spot on to how I'm feeling.  I think a part of me was sad that there's something else I now need to deal with, but at the same time a little relieved that I'm not actually going crazy.

So yea, I decided to take a bit of a break from social media whilst dealing with all this.  I think my tolerance to the nonsense and pettiness that appears on my social media feeds has just decreased somewhat since losing my Mum.  I see what some people argue over on Twitter and I can't help but think, "Really guys?!  You have nothing better to do with your time?!".  I never bother getting involved because quite frankly, I have enough going on in my life (And head!) as it is without getting involved in some petty Twitter spats, so instead I just bow out for a few days until the air settles once more.

I keep trying to force myself to keep active on social media, to build my audience and "my brand", but do you know what I've realised over the weekend?  I don't really care anymore.  I love the opportunities I get through blogging, and will forever be grateful for them.  I will never not love writing, but there are more important things going on in life than to force myself to do things I don't want to do.  If it means my blog growth is significantly slower than everybody else's, so what?  I keep telling myself I'm going to write for me more, then I don't.  So this is me starting to write what I want, when I want.  No more pressure.  I have enough on as it is right now.

So what have I been doing if not on the internet as much?  I've been reading my illustrated copy of Harry Potter, and I'm absolutely loving it.  I wrote in my post on how you can make it through a bad day, how one of my favourite things to do is read a book that comforts me, and for me those are the Hazza P books.  I'm always transported to the hallways of Hogwarts in my mind when I read them, and what better place to go when you're feeling low than the wizarding world of Harry Potter?  I'm about halfway through now and loving it (I usually read a lot quicker, but the pretty pictures are distracting!).


Another reason for my bad mood recently?  The heat.  There, I said it!  My name is Siobhan and I hate the heat!  I'm an Autumn baby ok?!  I like to layer up when it's cold.  There's only so many layers I can strip off when it's hot before it becomes a legal matter when I'm out in public!

It all got way too much for me at the beginning of this week, so I had to go out and buy shorts.  I had to get my legs out!  I hate my legs.  It's where I carry all of my weight, so the last thing I want to do is get them out, but around the house I've been wearing them none stop.  The only things that have kept me even a smidge happy in the heat are ice lollies and Pepsi Max Ginger straight from the fridge.  I must be on my fourth pack of cans of this stuff now.  I'm obsessed!


Since starting my little Etsy shop I've come across so many amazing shops.  I'm loving getting involved in the community and talking to all the lovely Etsy owners.  I got talking to the lovely Danielle of Thrift Company a few weeks ago, and ended up purchasing one of her Toy Story pocket tees.  It arrived on Tuesday and oh my goodness I love it!  I was worried it might not fit, but it fits just right.  It's such good quality, and it's perfect for more casual days.

Having found a fair few Disney related shops now, I've found that there are so many amazing Disney tees made my American business owners, but the shipping costs to get the from the USA to the UK can sometimes cost more than the tees themselves.  However, I feel like we're lacking on the awesome tee front over here in the UK (Please correct me if I'm wrong, and direct me to ALL of the awesome UK tees!), but Thift Company are definitely one of those small businesses, so if you're in the market for a good quality Disney tee, look of further.  Not only do you get a lovely new Disney tee out of it, but you get to support a small business too!


On Thursday Spencer and I went along to a taster event at Nourish in their new Ecclesall Road cafe.  I've known about Nourish for over a year now, but only been with Spencer once, which is ridiculous really because out of all of the places we can eat out this is the place that has most option for Spencer in Sheffield.  I always seemed to forget it was there in the town centre though until after we'd eaten out somewhere else!

The event on Thursday changed all of that.  Dave, who talked us through each of the dishes we tried was clearly so passionate about his business.  His knowledge on food is amazing, and it was clear to me that he genuinely cares about teaching people about healthy eating and how we can nourish our bodies.

Having a bit of a sweet tooth, my favourite by far was the Avocado Chocolate Moose.  The consistency and texture was spot on, and it tasted like a really rich dark chocolate moose.  It looked far better than my horrific attempt at Avocado Chocolate Moose a couple of years ago anyway!

I'm planning on writing a post about Nourish, but I'm heading back this week with Spencer first.  They kindly gifted us a meal voucher to enjoy some of their dishes, and I'd like to get some decent photos to have alongside a post dedicated to them.  I was too busy eating to take some good ones at the event...


Today the bestie Charlotte and I headed out for afternoon tea at Patisserie Valerie's.  It was such a lovely afternoon.  Of course the food was incredible, but the company was better.  Charlotte is one of those people that, no matter how low I feel, or how much I feel like I'm never going to be able to move forward with my life, I always feel good after being with her.  She's such an uplifting, empowering person to have in my life.  I always want to strive to be a better person when I spend time with her.

This is the kind of person you need in your life guys!  Less of the negativity!  Can we pick each other up a little more instead of dragging one another down?!

Now, it's Sunday night, it's late, I'm peckish, and I need to get a good nights sleep for a week of applying for jobs, making pouches, looking after my favourite pooch Zara, and maybe some more blogging...if I feel like it.
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2 comments

  1. Ace post, Siobhan. Definitely write what you want when you want - I think that's the best idea - and I hope you're feeling good this next week :) Agree with you on the chocolate avocado mousse... more please!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Hayley, this week is definitely a better one for me! We're taking advantage of the vouchers we were given at Nourish tomorrow so I'm hoping to get my hands on some more Avocado Moose then! x

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